New York child custody, Manhattan child custody, Brooklyn child custody Lawyer
Divorce Lawyer. New York child custody, Manhattan child custody, Brooklyn child custody Lawyer.
Divorce Lawyer. New York child custody, Manhattan child custody, Brooklyn child custody Lawyer.

Articles on New York Divorce Law

Are the Courts open?
April 6, 2020









In March of 2020 itbecame evident that the corona virus would inevitably cause courthouses throughout the State of New York to close indefinitely.

The coronavirus has affected the court system in a dramatic way in New York State. As of yesterday, the state of the law has two cases pending in the court of appeals in the state of New York will not be heard for oral argument in April and May.

As far as divorce cases go, the only court filings that will be entertained will need to be accompanied by an emergency affidavit.

During the coronavirus, the New York State courts, including but not limited to those cases involving New York Divorce lawyers and Manhattan Family Court Lawyers,  will be instituting various measures of relief in order to reduce thenumber of people in the court room.  As of today’s, writing the Supreme Court of the State of New York is closed to the public.

However, there are some exceptions to the rule.  For instance, beginning on March 25 and March 26, 2020 New York City criminal court and New York City Family Court will begin listening to cases by virtual court hearings performed through video or telecommunications. The types of cases the court will hear by telephone or video R child protection cases, juvenile delinquency cases, family events cases, and emergency writ applications as to custody and parenting time. As a result of Governor Cuomo’s executive order, new court filings that are not essential will not be excepted by the court clerk.

it appears as though each New York county will be handling their caseload differently. Therefore, it is important to call the court if you already have a scheduled court appearance to ascertain whether your case has been adjourned and to what date. If you are going through a custody or divorce appeal, and you had filing deadlines that we are set by the court hearing your appeal, then all filings and deadlines are being suspended until further notice of the court. That is, any cases that were pending on March 17, 2020 will be

indefinitely adjourned until you hear otherwise from the court.

Additionally, as reported in the New York Law Journal on March 20, 2020, The court is asking that if you tested for the COVID-19 virus and visited the courthouse between March 6 and March 20 to call the court immediately to report that so that the court can then trace their personnel and other attorneys who may have been at risk as a result of exposure to the virus. I will keep you updated as to the latest developments in the court system as this horrific pandemic continues. If you need further information, I refer you to the court website at front.

Stay healthy and for now stay home!


Your Manhattan Divorce Lawyer Lisa Beth Older, Esq. 




What if my spouse is turning our children against me?
March 12, 2020

Parental alienation has a huge impact on child custody cases


The New York courts considers parental alienation in its decision as to which parent shall obtain custody over children. When a quart feels that a child is refusing to have any relationship whatsoever with the other parent a quart then explores reasons as to why that is happening. In the absence of and fitness or abuse it is not unreasonable to imagine that parental alienation is occurring. The courts take parental alienation very seriously. The concept of parental alienation is not straightforward and at one time was discredited. However, the term parental alienation is seeing a comeback in the courts and has found new scientific legs upon which to support the theory.


If, for no apparent reason, your child is no longer talking to you or is expressing hatred towards you, the chances are the other parent could be saying bad things about you to the child. In other words, the child is merely mirroring that parent’s hatred of the other parent. Parental alienation often occurs in the middle of a divorce case. However, it can also occur under other circumstances. If children are around too many negative statements made by one parent about the other parent, they experience something called parental alienation. There are experts in the field who can ascertain whether the child is being alienated against one parent. For instance, when a child displays anger and fear not grounded in any rational basis these feelings of anger are usually planted in the head of the child by the opposite parent. This psychological twisting of a child is detrimental to the child and his or her family relationships because children try to trust and need to rely upon both parents in order to develop in a healthy manner, but when one parent poisons the child against the other parent it is not only detrimental to the child but it can also have dire consequences on the injuring party's case.


It unjustifiably causes the child to have negative feelings toward the aggrieved parent. An example of parental alienation is when a parent blames the other parent by having an adult conversation with the child as to the finances of the parties and why they cannot longer enjoy certain activities they used to enjoy prior to the divorce, y blaming the child’s lack of enjoyment of said activities on the fact that the other parent is the bad guy. Sometimes this happens purposefully and many times I see it happen unintentionally, but it can happen nevertheless and should be voided in any New York Custody case. Any good Manhattan Custody lawyer will warn against it and will be on the lookout for it. There is a lot of case law that developed in the state of New York that deals with parental alienation. One of the accepted principles of law is called interference with the noncustodial parent's relationship with the child. If the court finds that one spouse has intentionally interfered with the relationship of the child and the noncustodial parent, the court finds that that parent is per se unfit to parent. You can imagine the consequences of this in a custody case that goes to trial. The lesson from all of this to be learned is do not speak badly about the other parent in front of your child. If you need to speak badly about your spouse, hire a therapist to vent or speak to a friend or another adult. Involving a child in your divorce and financial problems is the worst possible thing you can do for your child and will likely have negative consequences in your case.


If you feel that your spouse has alienated your child against you, then argue in court that you have been the victim of intentional alienation and that as a result your spouse should not be awarded custody. It is a very strong case, but it’s also a difficult one to prove without expert testimony. If you suspect that you are a victim of parental alienation, then ask your attorney to request the appointment of an attorney for the child and forensic evaluations of the parties.  After all parties and the children have been interviewed, if the forensic evaluator feels there are sufficient facts for showing a parental alienation, this factor will play a large role in what the judge will do in your New York custody case.


By: New York divorce lawyer Lisa Beth Older
Can I appeal a Family Court Order Divorce Judgment
November 20, 2019

Can I appeal a Family Court Order or a Judgment of Divorce in New York?

Appeals from decisions and orders of the lower court are complex to perfect.  Not all orders are appealable as a matter of right.  For instance, a temporary Order can not be appealed unless you make  a special motion to the Appellate Division asking for leave to appeal.  You must also know that even if the Appellate division accepts your motion and allows you to appeal the lower court action is still pending at the same time  before the same judge and that judge will be aware of the fact that you appealed its temporary order.  Sometimes you can ask for a stay of the lower court order until the Appellate Division makes its ruling but even after it does make its ruling the court will likely send the entire matter back to the same Judge you had. If you are appealing a Final Order or Decision, then it must be known that if you lose your appeal the case will likely be sent back to the trial judge.  If you prevail on some points but lose on others, then the court will send the case back with instructions to the trial judge to make a ruling consistent with the holdings they made in the Appellate Division Decision.

Just filing a Notice of Appeal is not enough though it is imperative that you file one to protect your rights in the courthouse in which your case was heard and be sure you also serve it on your adversary.

You also need to perfect the appeal by following the Appellate Division court rules of practice which are  very detailed and complex.  These rules can be found on the New York Government website.   This consists of preparation of Briefs which are formatted in accordance with the rules of court.  The rules of practice vary between Appellate Division Departments so be sure to read the rules that appertain to the county in which your appeal will be heard. The form of the brief in the Second Department is governed by rule 50.8.  Even the cover of the brief must be in accordance with the rules of court. The cover must include the titles of the case and in the upper right-hand corner it must ask for how many minutes you are requesting for oral argument and the name of the attorney you select to argue it, along with the name, address, email address, and  telephone number of said attorney.  The brief itself is also highly regulated as to form.  In all departments, the form the brief takes are usually uniform.  But you should check the practice rules before you write and submit a brief. The Appellant’s brief should have a table of contents, and under that should be listed points you wish to make, the contents of the appendix with references to each document you will address by page number   including direct, cross and redirect, a table of case law indicating the page where the case can be found, a express articulate separate Statement of the issues and questions you want the court to address, a two page neutral restatement of the questions involves with the answers directly below, a statement of facts of the case with citations to the record, a certification statement by the submitting attorney, the argument you intend to make as appellant, divided into distinct points,  a statement stating under oath that you are in conformity with printing requirements, a CPLR 5531 Addendum, a copy of the order you are appealing from and a copy of the Notice of appeal.  There exist many other rules which you can find on the government website, but the above  requirements will give you an idea as to how complex appeals really are. The Respondent is required to perfect their appeal in a manner consistent with the above rules, with some deviations therefrom. I always tell my clients to order the lower court transcripts and exhibits admitted into evidence before even retaining our services. Then, of course, you must write the brief consistent with the table of contents so the court may follow your thinking, Moreover, there are printing and filing and service of process rules that need to be followed and that need further filings with the court. An appeal generally takes a month to draft and several months before a court will render its decision. I would strongly recommend that you retain counsel before you try to file an appeal given the above complexities but if that is not an option then the web site will help guide you and the clerk of the court will assist on any non-legal question you might have.

I hope this has been instructive, but it is not legal advice,  see a lawyer before you attempt to file any Notice of Appeal or Appeal since any mistake can be fatal to having your case heard in the appropriate court

Your Bronx Divorce Lawyer and Bronx Child Custody Lawyer

Lisa Beth Older

Can I sue for Adultery?
March 21, 2019


As a New York Divorce Lawyer,  my clients ask me oftentime whether aultery is still a crime in New York State and whether they can sue their spouse for cheating on them. This article is designed to lend clarity to this issue because spouses that are hurt by a cheating spouse need answers to this.  Penal law section 255.17 states that you can be found guilty of adultery if you or your spouse has sexual intercourse with another person during that time that you are married.  However, you cannot actually depend on the State to prosecute anyone for adultery because the state of New York usually does not act against the perpetrator. There have been only approximatley 13 convictions for adultery over the last forty odd years and these convictions were attendant to and related to other more serious underlying crimes.  This is because New York chooses not to prosecute adultery as a crime as a matter of public policy. 

As for divorce in New York we have several grounds upon which to seek a divorce and again, one such ground is adultery.  So, you can still sue for adultery but that does not always mean you will prevail because there are higher standards of proof that must be met for divorce courts you get you relief under those grounds.  Also, while you can sue for adultery, since New York State has added irretrievable breakdown of the marriage as a ground for divorce the courts favor this as ground and you will be encouraged to proceed forward on this ground because it alleviates the court from having to have a trial on grounds. This is encouraged because, quite frankly, grounds no longer impact decisions on equitable distribution and support and child custody unless the factual basis of said act is so severe and egregious that it warrants special equitable relief.

For instance, for adultery to form a basis for any part of an equitable distribution award, you will have to prove in court that the adultery directly impacted that economic issue.  An example of this might be that the cheating spouse may have spent some or all the marital assets on his or her paramour.  In that instance a court will make an allowance for that amount and in its discretion try to reward the aggrieved spouse that amount which was spent on the extramarital affair.  Another example as to how adultery might affect a divorce is has to do with custody.  If the adultery was committed in a careless manner in front of the children or in an explicit manner and as such had an upsetting direct impact on the children, then a court might consider that as one of a myriad of factors in its determination as to what custodial arrangement would be necessary in the best interests of the children. Usually, however, a mere affair will not alter the way a court arrives at a custodial award.

Accordingly, if you are staying married because your spouse threatens that you will be punished for your adulterous act it is probably not a good reason. Most New York Courts do not concern themselves with grounds when making rulings for support, custody and distribution of property and it will probably have no impact on the result of your New York Divorce and your New York Divorce Lawyer will likely so advise. If after reading this article you are still convinced that you want to sue for divorce on the ground of adultery, then you must realize that you have a higher standard of proof. You can not just take the stand and tell the Judge you believe your husband or wife had an affair. Rather, in providing adultery you must have a witness other than yourself testify in a compelling manner that your spouse had sexual relations with a person outside the marriage and usually that person will be an investigator with corroborative media evidence such as a video or photographs of the spouse during the act.  There are also defenses that your spouse can raise against an adultery allegation such as the fact that you might have agreed to an open marriage where both spouses agreed to extramarital affairs, you might have forgiven your spouse, or you might have cheated on your spouse as a form of revenge.

So, while New York Courts will still hear your case on the grounds of adultery, it is a cumbersome and costly process that involves airing your dirty laundry in a court of law and is unnecessarily expensive.

To conclude if you are looking to file for a New York divorce then the best grounds to precede on would be a no-fault divorce, or irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. Using this ground no proof is required to be had, and the plaintiff merely alleges and states that the marriage has broken down for a period of in excess of six months.

January 17, 2019

Getting a divorce in New York? What do I tell the kids? 

It is important that you keep your children in the loop about all life changing circumstances such as a change in school, a change in residence or a change in teachers. So, it is not surprising that parents should inform their children about their change in marital status.

Depending upon their age, children are smarter and more attuned to their environment then you might guess. Children may even know that you and your spouse are headed toward a divorce.

Even so, you should prepare the children well in advance of the move. Sit down with the children at an appropriate time and do so as a couple if at all possible.  The children need to see you are united in your decision. 

Spend a sufficient amount of time talking to them and listening to their concerns. It is important to stress that you love them at that nothing will change that.  However, it is also important to listen to them.  They will most likely have a lot of questions for you and you might expect them to ask about where they will live and who will be taking care of them. Expect that the children will have questions of worry or concern.  Address them with assurances.  Also expect the unexpected questions because children have their own ideas about what a divorce will look like because often times, they have had talks with their friends who have had very different experiences with divorce.

Also set aside other quiet times to go over with the children what a divorce means.  If one or the other parent is relocating it is important to let the children know how that relocation will affect their lives and their access to each parent.

You should also be talking to other critical persons in the lives of the children such as their doctors, their school teachers and their summer camp counselors or therapists.  Everyone should work as a team to explain how scheduling will work so that the children will know well in advance as to who will be expected to drive the children to their various appointments and who will attend what activity recital or event.  Garnering the support of those people in their lives will help the children in their post-divorce transition.

In my experience it is best if the parents can co-parent the children. Not only is this favored by the New York Courts, it is also very healthy for the children to know that both parents will remain active in their lives.

Before you and your spouse sit down to talk with the children is important that you and your spouse talk to their respective New York divorce lawyers about scheduling access and visitation time.  Children like structure and need to know what to expect once the household composition changes.

Once the household becomes two households, things get very expensive. You should talk to your divorce lawyer about how child custody issues will affect your pocket book and budget, and who will be expected to pay for extracurricular activities.  If you can, do not disrupt the activities the children are already involved in as this will tend to put stress upon the children. In my experience, children are children and should not be involved in the problems of financing their lives.  In New York extracurricular activities are nonmandatory add-ons to child support so you and your spouse should decide in advance as to what activities are affordable and wo will be paying for them.  Do not unilaterally schedule an activity and then expect your spouse to approve and pay for it.  

By co-parenting that means discussing what is in the best interests of the children and making decisions form them together as it concerns religion, medical attention and education. 

Even if the child is residing primarily with one parent the law favors liberal contact with the noncustodial spouse for a reason-the child need both parents, absent a showing of unfitness to parent.

The end result is that if you work together as parents and try not to fight in front of the children the children will not feel like they have to take sides which is known to be detrimental to the children’s best interests. It is generally easier said then done but it is the best possible course if you wish your children to adjust to their post-divorce life.

I hope this has been helpful. Your Bronx Child Custody Attorney, Lisa Beth Older.

December 30, 2018


It is not required that you retain a NY divorce lawyer or NY Family Law Lawyer to go to Family Court or to prosecute your divorce in Supreme Court in a New York Divorce Case, but here is why it is advisable to do so. Family Court is user friendly if you think you can settle your case and if there is not too much animosity between the parties. However, all proceedings are still legally binding upon you and your case will proceed forward in a manner in which you are not familiar.

          When you hire a family court or divorce lawyer these attorneys usually have had experience in these matters and can guide you through each step of the way.  Each court appearance matters, from the way you dress to the way you conduct yourself in court.  A family law lawyer will let you know what to expect at each stage of the proceeding.  The lawyer will know how to file pleadings on your behalf, research the applicable law and how it bis favorable to your case and explain to you what a court will likely do or not do given certain facts and circumstances.  You do not have this advantage when you represent yourself.  

          Moreover, the case will normally result in a fact finding or trial where you will be required to call witnesses and present evidence in a manner required under the New York evidentiary rules so if you are not familiar with trying a case you will find it very frustrating to try to get the court to consider your proffered evidence.  Also, sometimes the other side might make a motion to dismiss and you may have legal grounds to contest that motion but because you do not have a lawyer to argue your case knowledgably, aggressively and professionally the court might dismiss your case. Lastly, when the Judge rules on your case it is a binding decision that will have far reaching consequences on your life and your children. Moreover, if your spouse or parent of a subject child hires a lawyer you will be at a lose as to how to prosecute your case.  If you are indigent or a low wage earner you should ask the court if they can appoint a free lawyer for you.  In custody cases in New York you have an absolute right to be represented by counsel so if the court does not appoint a free lawyer then make an application to the Judge to have the other side pay for a lawyer and for all costs associated with litigation of your case, such as forensic reports and risk assessment studies.
          If you have to find a lawyer you can use google to search for one. For instance, if you need a professionally aggressive divorce lawyer you plug into the search bar “aggressive divorce lawyer” and if you need somebody near by you, say a Manhattan Divorce Lawyer type that into the search bar as well. Another route to take is to read reviews, call a local bar association and get a recommendation for a referral to a reputable law firm. You can look at google local listings also and choose from there.  At the very least, interview with a few lawyers before making a choice or going it alone. You will be glad you did.

December 27, 2018


As 2019 rapidly approaches, I thought it would be a good time to revisit changes to the law and be sure the proposed papers necessary to get a divorce judgment are up to date and contain  the proper language.

Another change was put into effect by Administrative Order that revised forms having to so with income withholding Orders for temporary and disability assistance. These new forms went into effect on August 31, 2018. This change also highlights that unless the parties opt out and provide an alternate way to receive support, the court must order an income withholding order.  This Order amends two forms, one for child support and maintenance combined and the other affects income withholding on child support cases only.  All of said forms must be submitted with your divorce closing documents and may be found at There, you will find all applicable forms as well as detailed instructions as to how to fill out these forms.  It is very difficult to fill out these forms so it is advisable to seek legal counsel to conclude your divorce, in this writer’s opinion, and nothing contained in this article should be construed as legal advice.

          On the above website provided by New York Gov’s website you will also find cakculators designed to give you an idea as to how much child support and spousal support you may have to pay to your spouse. These calculators are found here. It is important to note that these numbers are presumptively correct but that the court has the ultimate right to amend these numbers as equity demands.  There are many factors that go into an analysis as to whether or not he court will either stick to these guidelines or deviate therefrom so you should become familiar with these factors before embarking up on a divorce because they are very complicated and have far reaching consequences to your case.


This article is not legal advice and you should thus consult with a NY divorce lawyer before embarking upon a divorce case or support or custody case.


Family Offense
December 7, 2018

Family Offense Proceedings are difficult because it means filing a petition against a family member or intimate partner when you have been the victim of a crime perpetrated against you.

The results you want to achieve from filing a Family Offense petition is an Order of Protection.  You generally go to Family Court for relief but you can also file for relief in Supreme Court if you are in the middle of a divorce case.

 There are many Order of Protection because the Court may fashion it with its own terms and conditions.

Usually you can go to family court on your own and go to the intake part and fill out a petition.  You will also be asked to fill out a vital statistics form giving the court general information such as your name, address, social security and dates of birth of all those members of the family that are involved in your case.

If you do not have a New York Family Lawyer then you can file the petition on your own with the help of a Family Court Clerk.  You will be seen by the Court immediately and will be asked to explain the circumstances as to why you need an Order of Protection.  Be sure your Family Offense Petition lists the crimes perpetrated upon you with a high level of specificity such as dates, times, injuries sustained and the nature of the offense.  If you have pictures that demonstrate the injuries bring them with you.

If the fear of harm rises to a certain level the Court will usually award your order of Protection that day and adjourn the case so you have an opportunity to serve the perpetrator.  When you come back to court be prepared to bring an Affidavit of Service proving you have served the petition and Order of Protection properly. Next, the court will generally continue the order of protection and give you a court date for a hearing and trial.

You must also realize that you can go to the police and make a police report and if the crime is serious the police will arrest the family member that poses a risk of harm to you

You can have two cases going at the same time and you can also get an Order of Protection from Criminal Court.




Can I apply for Custody?
October 29, 2018

Can I apply for child custody?

There are many things you need to know before you can apply for child custody in New York.

For one, a court must have the power to adjudicate your case. We call that “jurisdiction”.  This is a complex idea of law that involves many factors but the initial inquiry is for a judge is where the children have lived for the past six months, and whether there is a prior order of custody in place. As for the six-month rule, if there has been no prior order of any court from another State, then New York would have jurisdiction to hear your case if the children have resided in New York State for the last six months.  If the children were born in New York but are infants under the age of six then New York usually has the power to adjudicate your case.  However, if the parties have permanently moved to another state with the children then the parties can apply for custody in that state.

Custody is neutral gender, in other words, either of the parties may seek custody of their children.  Usually, the court will decide temporarily as to where the children will live until the final determination after a fact-finding hearing or trial.  Usually the lawyers will argue in court that the children should stay with the parent with whom they currently reside except for extenuating circumstances such as unfitness to parent, domestic violence or drug abuse. But a temporary Order does not necessarily mean the court will not order something else after a trial.  That is why the behavior of the litigants is crucial as the case progresses because the court will adjourn the case month to month to see how the children are faring with the parents.   The courts are people so they judge you every time you go to court and may make informal assessments as to how you are doing. One of the things a court looks at is the ability to foster a good relationship with the parent who is not the custodial parent.  Be sure you encourage visits with the other parent unless there is a serious reason why you should not do so. But never act without permission of the court or counsel.  For instance, in that instance, if you learn that one parent is abusing drugs or alcohol tell your attorney so they can make a motion to the court to suspend visits or to make visits supervised pending further investigation. Never let a lot of time go by before you act.

If there is an extant order of custody in favor of a parent and there has been a significant change of circumstances you can apply to modify the present order in your favor.

In making a final Order of  Custody the courts will look to what is in the best interests of the child and will take into consideration things like who is the primary caregiver, how long have the children resided with a particular parent, which parent can best provide for the children’s emotional, medical and educational needs.   While finances do come into play the courts more importantly place emphasis as they should on such factors as which of the parents provide direct care and nurture and guide the children in all aspects of their lives. In some instances, both parents may fit the bill and then a court can order joint custody.

Lastly, there are certain procedures you must follow if the parents were never married.  For instance, if you were never married but you are sure that the child is yours then you should go to Family Court and apply for an Order of Filiation to establish paternity, especially of you were not present at the birth of the child in question and you never signed an acknowledgment of paternity at the hospital.  Only after paternity is established may you apply for child custody in New York.

Must I sue for custody?
October 23, 2018



Many of my clients do not understand that in order to get a divorce judgment the parties must first settle their issues of child custody.  That means when you commence an action for divorce you must include in the Wherefore clause a request for custody.  In doing so that does not necessarily mean you want exclusive custody but it is a good idea to start with suing for custody in order to protect your rights moving forward.  An alternative might be to sue for joint custody especially where both parties can get along and have no problem with talking about the best interests of the children and making joint decisions.

There are two parts to a custody determination.  The first point of inquiry is decision making and the second point of inquiry is the location where the children will the children reside.

That means that the parties need to decide who will be doing the decision-making as to the children and what will the custodial schedule look like.  The Courts in New York favor joint custody wherever possible but sometimes the acrimonious relationship of the parties poses a problem such that only one party can be awarded custody.

Many parties think that because their spouse agrees to a divorce that they can get an uncontested divorce. That presumption is patently false is the parties do not deal with the issues of custody and child support and spousal support in the body of the Judgment roll.

If you are having problems deciding the above issues then you will most likely have to seek judicial intervention to move the matter forward.  In court the Judge will typically appoint a lawyer for the children and sometimes order psychological evaluations for the children and parties. Parties are cautioned that this can be very expensive but worse, it can cause a lot of stress on the children so if you can solve the issues of custody beforehand, do so. However if there are serious issues of unfitness then it is probably best to ocnduct an investigation.

Many fathers are under the false impression that the Mothers always get custody. This is incorrect because the laws are gender neutral and more and more father s are suing for custody if they feel they are best suited to be the primary caregiver for the children.